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Articles from 21 to 30

Wed 13 Oct 2010, 10:30 AM en srs

I stopped hormones one week before the trip. Now, I'm completely off hormones, like a menopausal woman. I think I feel the effects, I'm not sure but I sometimes feels very hot, at other times quite normal. Difficult to manage.

By the way, most of the time I stay naked. Just when I go out or I answer the door I put on a dress. Being naked and on bed (with a bed protection) is most confortable. If I go around, I just have to make sure that I don't leak, but that's all.

Thu 14 Oct 2010, 01:59 PM en srs

So, I'm fine, well, in a good mood. The days follows and are similar. Dilation is ok even though I must go in a deep relaxation state. I think I shouldn't try to sleep these moments and instead try to meditate as much as possible (stay in the presence)

My farther told me that it might be easier to find the nature of mind as I have accomplished quite a lot of what I wanted and I enter a peaceful state of accomplishment.

Good news as well, I'm lactating. I'm not joking but it happened. My boyfriend sucked on my right breast and he felt a salty taste, and rightly, some mild escape from my breasts after some stimulation. I couldn't possibly feed a baby yet, but that's a start. It might be the lack of hormones (stopped one week before the trip) or the medication. But Elie said he felt that taste even before.

Anyway, that's fun to play with. I'll show you some photos.

Tue 19 Oct 2010, 02:49 PM fr srs

Dimanche dernier ne s'est pas bien passé du tout. Niveau dilatation, j'ai craqué et c'est Elie qui tient le dilateur à ma place. Mais ça fait mal, je crie. J'ai envie d'écouter des musiques qui crient aussi, bien agitées (mais pas le genre death metal qui ne me revient pas non plus). Enfin, j'ai enduré à l'aide d'un quart de cachet de Xanax (sleeping pill). Ça fait mal vraiment depuis le début de l'insertion et bien plus après.

Un grand merci à Elie qui m'aide à tenir. Voici ce que j'ai pu écrire lundi (je n'aime pas me répéter)

Pour moi, ça se passe tantôt bien, tantôt moins (c'est peut être pour ça entre autre que je n'ai pas forcément cherché à te joindre hier). Hier soir j'ai pris un quart de cachet de Xanax pour me détendre et faire passer la dilatation un peu mieux parce que hier matin, j'ai craqué, je n'en pouvais plus. C'est dur moralement de se faire mal physiquement ... En tout cas le moral était un peu bas. J'ai rattrapé la sauce hier soir en écoutant du Mickael Jackson pour donner la pêche et j'ai même essayer de danser un peu, mais dons mon état.

Enfin, depuis hier donc, c'est Elie qui tient le dilateur parce que je n'y arrive plus. Et comme ça il se sent utile. Mais ça se passe bien maintenant. Ca fait mal physiquement, mais c'est parce que les cicatrices se referment et se contractent.

Puis lundi après midi, on a regardé un dessin animé Disney (Mulan pour les connaisseurs) qui m'a fait beaucoup de bien. Et comme après avoir regardé un film avec mon chéri adoré, je suis très amoureuse et j'ai un peu enfreint la règle qui veut qu'on ait pas de pensées sexuelles, mais c'est dur de résister.

La suite ... mardi

Le matin la dilatation était plus dure que jamais. Franchement, je tenais à peine, et pourtant je ne faisait rien. Il a aussi semblé que j'ai saigné un peu par certains points, mais je ne suis pas sûre. De toute façon, saigner un peu, c'est normal. Mais après ce moment dur à passer, je suis allée à la clinique à 12:30 pour que Dr Suporn puisse examiner l'intérieur de mon vagin.

Il a vu que ... tout était ok à l'intérieur et j'ai mon passeport pour les dilatations dynamiques (3 fois 30 minutes par jour) et les hormones. Il a aussi vu que ma nécrose au petites lèvres n'avait pas fini de se résorber (plus profonde que superficielle) et il va me recoudre vendredi 10h à la clinique.

Donc, vendredi 10h, je dois être à la clinique (5 minutes à pied, même pour moi) en ayant fini deux dilatations dynamiques et mon petit déjeuner. Ca va être sportif. Une crème pour endormir la zone (de ce que j'ai compris) et on part sur la table d'opération. Rien de bien grave cependant.

Pour les dilatations dynamiques, comment faire ? Simple. On atteint la profondeur maximale comme en statique, on pousse à fond pendant 15 secondes. On relâche un peu et on tourne le dilateur 15 fois par la base. Le but est que le bout décrive un cercle pour élargir le vagin. Et on recommence.

Et la bonne nouvelle, à 4 pm, c'était facile. Une infirmière de la clinique, Aoe, est venue pour me montrer comment faire. Et j'ai duré 30 minutes très facilement. Ça ne fait pas mal (ça tire juste un peu quand on pousse, mais assez peu). Donc génial. Je suis en bonne forme et j'ai le moral.

Lundi midi on a mangé à la pizzeria de l'autre coté de la rue, je n'ai pas emprunté la passerelle pour traverser la route (les marches c'est pas bien pour la zone opérée), mais ce midi on a mangé dans un restaurant avec des plats végétariens dans le cendre commercial juste à coté de la pizzeria et j'ai pu goûter aux joies d'un plat épicé. Très épicé même.

Je vous laisse, il est quand même 8h du soir.

Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:04 AM en srs

This morning I had a revision to remove necrosed skin, white skin that was dead tissue and the black necrosed skin. The goal was not to remove the white skin that is in the process of healing but it must have been removed because I can't see it anymore.

My labia minora looks smaller now, he says that with time, both labias will get to similar sizes. Anyway.

This morning at 9:30, I went to the clinic, washed the area with hybiscrub soap and put on the robe for the operation. I had Dr Suporn look at the area to see how it had evolved and he noticed that it was healing fine but there was still two necrosed areas that he still wanted to remove. He's not forgetting that I'm leaving Thailand in a week.

He put on some anesthetic cream to numb the skin and an adhesive plastic to hold it in place, then I waited for the revision upstairs. It took place at 11:15 and lasted 15 to 20 minutes (the assistants had already prepared everything when Dr Suporn entered). I had an injection to further numb the area that I didn't feel, and it continued with, I imagine, cutting and threading. I felt the threads, or more exactly, the vibration they made in my body.

And that was it. Cream was applied and I was downstairs to change to my usual clothes and get back to the hotel. I could have been taken using the van but I felt I could go walking, so I did.

I don't recognize myself anymore, the area where there was necrosed skin had completely disappeared. Apart from that I feel ok except that I was't hungry at noon so I didn't eat. Now I'm a bit hungry.

Moral is good. I have to dilate once more tonight (not before) and I might try the largest dilator Sunday or Monday. 15 minutes for the medium dilator since full depth, then try the largest for another 15 minutes.

Mon 08 Nov 2010, 01:14 PM en srs

Wow, it's been a long time. As usual I'll tell you what happened for me. I know this might read technical but I find it important to recall everything so that other after me knows what they are signing for. This doesn't matter much as personally, I don't think you could get this idea out of my head, but ... Better be prepared.

Right now, I just finished my morning dilation (yes, I finished it at 1 pm) and had a light snack. Now, let's go into the past:

Sunday, 24th October 2010

Ok, I just finished the 24 hours delay after my revision. The doctor told me I could start using the largest dilator (diameter 34mm) soon and for the midday dilation, I tried. I was told that I might not get my full 7 inches, but I could (minus a few millimeters, but you are told not to care about millimeters). So, that's good :)

I didn't tried it in the morning as the morning dilation is the most difficult.

Monday, 25th October 2010

Morning dilation ok, breakfast ok. Back to the hotel room at 10 when I get the visit from a nurse. Today, around 1 pm, Émilie-Marie, my friend, must come at the airport and the clinic has arranged to get her. I ask if I can go greet her and I was told I should hurry 'cause the driver is leaving right now.

Interrupting everything, I prepare and go to the hotel lobby. We wait until the driver comes. He was waiting as well but didn't recognize us. Anyway, we go to Bangkok. This time, no highway. We use the normal road.

Just to get you a picture, the highway and the normal road use the same path. The highway is just located about 40 meters above. The only difference, apart from the fact that the highway only have a few exits and no possibility to turn back, is the quality of the road. The highway is perfect with 3 lanes for each direction. The road is just as wide but the left lane (remember, we drive on the left) is just anything but the tarmac it should be, and the right lane can contain stopped cars that want to turn back. And sometimes, the whole road disappears and becomes just a very bumpy track.

The rest of the week passes by, with many things to do. And I get very tried. But that's life.

Friday, 29th October 2010

We leave tonight and we had the opportunity to get to every mall possible around town. I feel sad. In the morning I get my final checkup with Dr Suporn, and I realize that's the last time I saw him. He says everything is find and gives me the final instructions.

Yesterday, I ordered flowers at the clinic. In the afternoon I am to go the hospital a last time to give them to the nurses that were so kind the first week. We go by tuk-tuk and take the lift to the 9th floor. Everyone is very kind and very happy to see me back. I feel I'll have a duty of postcards when I go back to France. We take photos and sadly, I have to leave.

Instead of going to the hotel, I stay at the clinic and realize once again that's going to be the last time at the clinic. After, I have a dilation, and must go down to the hotel lobby to get to the airport. I stay here and cry everything out for about an hour. Of course, everyone is concerned about me. I wish I had time to talk to people about their lives and whatever they wanted to talk about. I just didn't have the opportunity.

I get the last photos using Elie's mobile phone. Very bad quality, but I love these photos.

I get back.

I dilate.

I go down to the lobby after having finished packing everything (difficult).

Danny is here to get us to the airport and leaves us there. I say good bye.

I ask for a wheelchair and get through everything.

In the plane, I get the front seats. The plane is not full so that was possible. It's very comfortable 'cause I can stand up and still be in front of my seat. The plane's (Boeing 777-300) toilets aren't that comfortable especially to wash the area and apply Dermazine cream. But I get by.

Saturday, 30th October 2010

Paris, we got to sleep ok. The plane left at midnight (Bangkok time) so that's wasn't so hard. I get a wheelchair again and ask for the medical center to get a micro dilation. That's the same terminal as the train station, lucky me. I get to dilate in a hurry only getting near 7 inches with the smallest, but that's going to make it easier afterwards.

I take the train in a hurry again and leave Paris.

Lyon, I take another train to get home.

Home (my parents'), I eat lunch, dilate, sleep, dilate, sleep and that's Sunday.

Friday, 5th November 2010

We get home all right.

Dilations starts to get difficult. So with time, I get to have the following changes: In the morning I use the smallest dilator first that I insert until 7" and release, and I get to do the insertion all by myself. This way, I can control the insertion and I can do that painlessly. The final (half) inch is just the critical zone where I have to push and where it hurts a bit. But taking time has the advantage of making it possible to do it with little pain.

Sunday, 7th November 2010

We invited all the close family to show the photos. Dilation was difficult after everyone left. Perhaps because we were tried and I mistook the medium dilator for the largest. Of course it couldn't enter. Combine that with the TV on and you have a super lengthy session that spanned from 9:45 to 0:30. Sleeping was very good afterwards.

Fri 03 Dec 2010, 08:28 AM dream en

I made a strange dream ... of another dream. When I woke up in the first dream I wanted to create a Scratchpad to write the second dream on. Here is it:

Three characters: Anna from the White Ajah, Jessica from the Red and Patrul R. who was also a musician of some sort. The day before, I (Anna) said goodbye to Patrul R. He felt somethng would be happening as he gave his blessing with a long kiss. Rightly so, the next morning, Anna had a bus accident and her conciousness transferred to Jessica.

Thu 09 Dec 2010, 07:23 PM en

I might at some point make a mirror to Wikileaks

Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:22 PM comp en lisaac

Remind me to post about this again ...



Section Header

  + name := BLOCK_PROTO;

  - how_to_allocate <- clone;

Section Public

  // Notice there is no + slots as these are generated by the compiler and
  // accessed through internals.

  - parameter i:INTEGER :E <- Internal;

  - upvalues :UPVALUES <- Internal;

  - ptr :POINTER <- Internal; contains the upvalues variables that might be shared by several BLOCKs.

Blocks needs to be objects in the heap to make it possible to pass them around. Upvalues also needs to be on the heap.

Fri 11 Feb 2011, 06:54 PM comp en lisaac

I had an idea about inheritance, comming from Eiffel and my today's work in Ada Object Oriented Programming in embedded software. I am working on a software that is going to be embedded in an ADIRU (Air Data Inertial Reference Unit) in the final assembly line (not on air). This software is about implementing a protocol to let the test operator test the connections in the aircraft.

Embedded software means memory constraints. Basically, that means I can only allocate new objects when the application is starting up. When the application is running (with a scheduler), it is no longer possible to create new objects. This is bad for me because I just want to create different objects at runtime that have a different behaviour. The objects all have the same size in byte, the same data. There is just a function that is inherited.

Next, I thought of Eiffel ...

And then about what is inheritance. I can think of two aspects of inheritance:

  • Behaviour inheritance: you just want the same behaviour as your parent. This is the Section Insert
  • Interface inheritance: you just want the polymorphism

When you think about it, the two aspects complements each other. The traditional inheritance is just the combinaison of the two. So I thought that could be a great idea to separate them. Bundeling them together would just help programmers mistakenly inherit for an object, even if they obly want polymorphism or behavior inheritance alone.

There is another trap: extend an object that you already inherited. You might add some features/methods/slots that you don't necessarily want in herited prototypes. You end up cluttering the inherited objects a lot. So I thought that a good rule would be to forbid the inheritance from an implementation and force inheritance from interfaces.

And, how to do that nicely in Lisaac?

With the new Section Interface

The Section Interface would define an interface for the current prototype. It would contain slots and their contracts that are going to be inherited. Slots not defined here will not be available for inheritance. And if there is no Section Interface, no inheritance will be possible.

In short terms, it means that if you use the Strict version of the prototype (or if the compiler can infer you are doing so), you can use the slots in the Section Public. Else, you are limited to the Section Interface.

Cool things with interfaces

Just as in eiffel, if you have two slots that conflicts when inherited like in the following code:

Section Header

  + name := BAG(T);

Section Interface

  - count :INTEGER;
  - lower :INTEGER;
  - upper :INTEGER;

  - owner :PERSON;
Section Header

  + name := SHOP;

Section Inherit

  - tomatos :BAG(TOMATOS);
  - eggs    :BAG(EGGS);

Section Interface

  // You can rename the slots:

  - tomatos_count <- tomatos.count;
  - tomatos_lower <- tomatos.lower;
  - tomatos_upper <- tomatos.upper;

  - eggs_count <- eggs.count;
  - eggs_lower <- eggs.lower;
  - eggs_upper <- eggs.upper;

  // Or reimplement them:
  // (if there is a conflict, it should be present in the interface tell the
  //  compiler that you thought of reimplementing it.)

  - owner :PERSON;

Section Public

  - owner :PERSON <-
    ? { eggs.person = tomatos.person };

This will tell the compiler that when the SHOP transforms into a BAG(TOMATOS) through polymorphism, it should use the tomatos_count instead of count. This will also tell that the owner of both the tomatos and eggs is the same and implemented in SHOP.

How to inherit?

For behaviour inheritance:

Section Insert

  - parent1 :Expanded P1;
  - parent2 :P2 := P2;
  + parent3 :Expanded P3;
  + parent4 :P4 := P4;

For interface inheritance (the two forms are equivalent)

Section Inherit

  - parent1 :Interface P1;
  + parent2 :Interface P2;

For both (if there is no default values for forms 2 and 4 the compiler should issue a warning):

Section Inherit

  - parent1 :Expanded P1;
  - parent2 :P2 := P2;
  + parent3 :Expanded P3;
  + parent4 :P4 := P4;

Tue 22 Mar 2011, 09:26 AM comp en freedombox

Yesterday, I realized that we all needed to protect our privacy and that we might be facing something more than just ads. The solution, fortunately it was started: Freedombox

There is a specific part I want to cover: protected communication channels. Starting with E-Mails.

In the E-Mail world, GMail is the best, in my opinion, except that it is hoisted on Google servers. How about having a private GMail on your freedombox ? What are the use cases:

  • We need to know which server sent the E-mail or tell the user if we can't know. Solutions exists like DKIM, DomainKeys or SPF. The solution liew with all of thesesolution, not merely just one.

    What we should see is before the E-mail a little line telling something like:

    • We could not determine which server sent the E-Mail, it might be spam or scam.

    • We could not determine which server sent the E-Mail, it appears to come from but generally signs outgoing E-mails. This is probably spam or scam.

    • The E-Mail was sent from

    • The E-Mail was sent from and has been signed by

    • The E-Mail was sent from and has been encrypted by

Now, the freedombox provides many services. For example we need to have a PGP Key server. How do we advertise that? DNS was made for that. I was thinking specifically about Avahi, providing Multicast-DNS on the local network. I think we need to either transform Avahi into a full DNS server that could run on the Freedombox or have it publish records in an existing DNS server on the box. Why? Because services are already used to publish DNS records using Avahi.

We also need to have a network of Freedombox to add redundancy to our DNS servers. That could be implemented as a second part. It would also be good if we could have a domain like where all freedombox could have a free subdomain for free. Domain names are a necessity.

Now, what I want to do is simple:

  • Buy a plug computer and install Freedombox on it
  • Work on integrating a SMTP server that would
    • send signed E-Mails
    • receive E-Mails and filter them
  • Integrate an IMAP server
  • Integrate a PGP Key server
  • Work on integration with DNS
  • Work on a client that would sign e-mails, send them and open the inbox on IMAP

Now, it would be freat to have in all modern browsers a dns: scheme which would present all the services of a specific server. For example it could tell you:

  • This server provides a web server. Browse
  • This server provides a LDAP address book. Browse Search
  • This server provides an XMPP server. Sign-In
  • This server provides a SMTP server. Send E-Mail

This would be awesome.